Deep as the Ocean Blue
by Cintia J
Summary: When Ariel and Snow White attended the Ursula's ball at prince Eric's castle, it was for Ariel, in love with him at first sight, to finally meet him. But there was someone else there. Someone who attended with a very similar purpose... One-shot.


If there was one thing I've ever learned, is that our imagination can be cruel: it creates the most perfect scenarios and make us smile; but it can also be dangerous. Because reality hardly accomplishes imagination's total perfection. Outside our fantasies we risk many things, and sadly, heartbreak is one of them. A part of me knew that. But another one, very persuasive, told me not to give up hope. After all, happy endings have their very start in hope, haven't they?

I laid down in the sun-kissed rock as my fingers traced undefined figures in the crystalline water. Waiting. Hoping. My eyes searched the coast frantically, but I knew I wouldn't find him today. He was too busy. But, oh, how I longed to see him walking down the shore, his feet bare in the sand, and his eyes full of yearning! I knew that look. He was bored with his life, I even heard him speaking of it. He wanted to see the world beyond his castle's walls, beyond the so well known waves of that sea he saw every single day. And although I knew he shouldn't see me, all I wanted was to call him, to say his name, and sit by his side, to tell him the endless stories from all the far away realms and sparkling shores I had visited over the years, and to where I could lead him, if he'd just let me to. But I couldn't. Fear gripped me every time I was about to speak, to reveal myself, and told him that, if he wanted it, my heart could be his forever. In fact, it already was.

A tear rolled down my cheek, but I wiped it away, calling myself a fool. It could never happen; why I couldn't just understand it? I told that to myself a million times. But a little voice in my head, always keeping a little piece of hope, stormed in my mind, as an intruder... what if there was actually a way? And suddenly, I remembered. Of course there was one. How could I have forgotten about the necklace...? That fairy in the green attire had assured me it would work. I even saw her casting the spell right before my eyes... The pearl hung on my neck with its delicate glow. I grabbed it in my hand, and at the thought of him, I smiled widely. "_I'm coming, my love. Wait for me_".

My first thought, as I descended the palace's elegant staircase, was how unfamiliar everything was. Magic had done its work; "_It always comes with a price_", the fairy had told me. And apparently that price was the air escaping from my lungs. I silently thanked I didn't had to wear that type of dress every day of my life, because it was so tight…! I was told it was something named "corset", and it was meant to be tight, but… Well, if it was necessary to be there, so be it. I could bear it. The thought of him made my heart stir, and I smiled uncontrollably. Who cared about a stupid dressing thing? I was there, where I would never have dreamed to be, in a place filled with light, warm and beauty. Walking among them I felt like a stranger, but I told myself that owed myself at least trying to enjoy my very first royal ball.

I walked in front of a mirror, and for a moment I was more aware of my looks than ever. The white dress ("silk", I was told it was made out of it) revealed my knees, and left my arms bare. Did my hair have always had so many curls, spilling over my shoulders like a black satin cascade? My emerald eyes –from which my mother had decided my given name– looked me back in excitement and expectation, although I could read the discomfort and the feeling that I didn't belonged there, like a fish out of water. But I could, if just… I kept walking and passed a group of people next to the basin, admiring Ursula's bronze sculpture. I didn't stop. Their faces were nothing to me, as neither was the image of a long disappeared sea goddess that looked more terrifying than worthy of admiration.

And suddenly, my heart stopped. I saw him. There he was, at the top of the staircase, in exquisite attire, delicately embroidered, and with a red velvet sash crossing his chest. He moved with ease, as used as he was to those clothes, and royal balls, and that rigid protocol I always found so ridiculous, and heard him complaining about, saying that he just wanted to be free and see the world as he pleased. But, right then and there, he smiled, with so much… joy. A grin crossed my face. He looked more handsome than ever, and I felt all my love filling my heart and making it beat faster, as it was all I needed to live. "_I love you_", I whispered, hoping for him to hear it, and at the same time, begging for him not to. How paralyzing fear of ridicule can be…

I was so used seeing him walking on the shore or the docks, dressed in modest and unpretentious clothes, as he were not a prince, but a simple fisher, as one of those whose boats and nets rested among the rocks, in the shore, that the change was a bit shocking, but nice… Oh, the relief I felt when I saw him again, after hearing his ship had wrecked! For a brief, terrible moment, the thought that he may be gone forever was close to destroy my heart and sink it like a rock in the water. What should I do now? Go to him? My heart ached for his touch, his hand in mine… But a quick thought stopped me. He was a prince. And I was no princess. We were worlds apart.

But, no. No! I put aside those thoughts. I didn't want them to stop me. Love was not a question of royalty, but hearts. A mutual need that brought them together, in which titles and crowns had nothing to do. And love at first sight wasn't less than that. I knew I wouldn't regret this evening. Hesitantly, I took a step towards him. But, all the sudden, as the hitting of a lightning, my heart stopped. He looked my way, and smiled at me!

But, just as a lightning fires up the sky, the thunder was quick to follow, and I felt his roar in my very soul. Something was not quite right. I stopped, my smile fading, noticing everything at once. He wasn't smiling at me. I followed his eyes, and I felt dismayed.

Her.

The red-haired young woman smiled shyly, standing right beside another one with long, black hair, and the skin as white as snow. A princess, no doubt, as her pale pink dress embroidered with lace and sequins revealed, and more beautiful than I cared to admit. They whispered something between them, looking at the prince, and suddenly the black-haired one pushed the other ahead, with a knowing smile; she walked towards him hesitantly. And suddenly, she tripped and fell. I guessed her feet were as used to heels as my own. But what happened next made my heart sink even more. He helped her stand, and suddenly, he was asking her to dance, taking her hand, and leading her to the centre of the room.

I was barely aware of the soft music that gradually filled the ballroom, as I watched them moving in a slow, elegant waltz. And I was surprised that, although she seemed a little clumsy when walking, it wasn't the same now; she danced gracefully, her body used to that kind of movements, as if swimming… They were talking, as they waltzed. I couldn't hear them, but I could see, and I was able to catch little phrases of their conversation as they passed close to me. "_A vision of my future…_", I heard him saying as he encircled her waist with his arm… The same I wished he did with me someday. He dipped her gracefully, as she looked at him with eyes torn between adoration and perplexity. Clearly, it wasn't the first time she saw him, although he seemed not to know her from a previous meeting.

They danced away, alone in the dance floor, and apparently, in the whole ballroom; I couldn't hear them anymore. But I've seen enough. And it was about to make me sob in pain. Tears welled up my eyes, as I watched him smiling so… hopeful. The music fade away, and they unlaced their hands, but stood just inches apart. And I knew what just had happened, because I had seen it many times. Just not with me. Over more years that I could count, I saw love invading hearts and leaving its indelible mark. And although I refused to believe what I just saw, there was no mistake. Both of their eyes, in that awed look, were all I needed to understand that I couldn't fight destiny. One look. One dance. One conversation. And his destiny was sealed. In other circumstances, I would have fought back, but now…

Wait. No. No. It couldn't happen just like that. My feelings weren't a mere infatuation. They were very real, to the point that I could have recognized his voice in the noisiest crowd, and knew his face better than my own. Wasn't him my last thought at night, and my first every morning? I _loved_ him! With all my heart.

I took a step towards him. He was talking to a courtier in golden attire. Should I interrupt him? A million questions assaulted me. What should I say? Should I smile at him? Say my true name, or give a fake one, just in case? But when I approached him, he turned his head as his green eyes met mine, and all the questions in my head were suddenly gone. I noticed how close we were. The closest we ever got to be in all that time in which my heart beaten for him, and only him.

"Can I help you, miss?"

He looked at me, waiting for my answer. And what I saw in his eyes was enough for me. I sealed my lips and said no more. I turned my back at him and walked –almost run– away, as tears started to roll down my cheeks. For I knew his heart could never be mine. Not anymore. For more nights than I could count, I dreamed with his eyes looking at me as he looked at the red-haired woman he'd just danced with. Besotted, full of admiration, like he had seen the sun after a long time in the dark… The kind of look there's no turning back from. Their eyes, all tenderness, and the touch of their bodies against each other, eager, but respecting boundaries, and at the same time, reluctant to be separated… In their hearts, they knew, they just found their destiny in each other; they were two souls that knew they would never be alone again, that matched perfectly with one another in a unique, sweet way.

Tears blurred my vision. How naïve I've been, how foolish! Daring to believe he could love me back! Everyone in that room could see it. The prince had found his princess, and she was utterly perfect. Or so is what I wanted to believe. Even with my jealousy, and the loud breaking of my heart, I wished them happiness. Because anyone with enough luck as to be loved by a man like him would be forcefully happy. Very stupid –or completely blind– should be a woman not to notice his loving manners, his natural sweetness, his delicious curiosity, and complete devotion…

I didn't look back. I reached the closest gate and, unable to resist anymore, I ran as fast as I could. The white silk dress floated silently behind me. I didn't want to stop running, but then, one of my heels betrayed me, and I fell with all my weight on the floor. But I didn't care of the pain in my hands or my knees. It was nothing compared to the one I felt in my burning heart. I took off those ridiculous shoes and tossed them away. I stood up and kept running. The blue, starry sky greeted me when I finally reached the docks. A soft breeze caressed my face, cold and wet with tears. A lonely one rolled down my cheek as I stared at the infinite ocean in front of me.

There. In the deep, blue, restless water, my salty tears could get lost. I grabbed the pearl still hanging on my neck, and closed my eyes. It was a dream. Beautiful, but just a dream. His eyes in mine, empty and expressionless, were all I needed to see to understand how pointless was to stay. "_Goodbye, my love_", I whispered. I had no more answer than the persistent coming and going from the tide… Inviting. Yes. The dream was over; it was time to wake up. To go back to what I always have been, that one night of borrowed time couldn't change. I took a hesitant step. Then another. Then another. And soon, my bare feet ran over the docks' wet timbers, eager to meet the end of it. I opened my arms at it were wings, and with all my strength, I dived in.

The cold, fresh, marvellous water received me like the embrace of an old friend. I slipped out of the white dress as my hand brushed down my waist, feeling how the soft skin turned into silvery scales, and my feet gracefully fused into a delicate pair of transparent fins. My hair floating around me in a slow, gentle dance, seemed darker than ever. Plunging deeper, I swam away. I couldn't feel my hot tears anymore, but I knew, I wasn't free. "_I love you_", I thought, and even in my head, my voice sounded broken. "_I love you, and I will never forget you_".

Above my head, I could hear the slow movement of the sea against the docks. And, as I did back in the palace, I didn't look back. What would have given for one, single kiss! But his heart had already an owner, and now…

Reality and imagination can be worlds apart. Just as he and I were. But love and happiness were one. They could not exist without each other. And that's what I saw tonight. A line drawing my destiny even further. I felt as if my heart would never beat the same again.

Forcing myself to silence my thoughts, I let the ocean take over my senses, not thinking. Just swimming. Only knowing I didn't want to stop moving… being what –who– I always had been. Emerald. The mermaid. Myself.


End file.
